One nice passtime for people working in MNCs are the innumerable phone calls they get from banks, mobile phone companies, insurance agents and who not! Many people might also find them irritating, but I like attending these calls. They give me a nice distraction from my rather mundane work. It is funny the kind of people these guys employ nowadays. They seem to be total wierdoes!
I got this call from a female working in ICICI bank last week...
Female: Hello Mr.Vikram, this is Reena from ICICI. May I distrub you for ten minutes please.
Vikkki: (!!Scene!!) I am a bit busy right now Mam. Please make it quick. (!!Scene!!) How can I help you?
Reena: Sir, do you have an account with ICICI bank?
V: No Mam, I dont.
R: Would you like to have an account with ICICI, Sir?
V: No Mam, I wouldnt.
R: Why is that Sir? Is it because of the minimum balance value that we require you to maintain?
V: Minimum Balance? Mam. To the best of my knowledge ICICI does not require a minimum balance for corporate customers. I am sure u know that.. (I seemed to know more abt ICICI than this female! haha!)
R: Oh yes Sir. I apologize.
V: That is okay!
R: Sir, have u taken a loan with ICICI before?
V: No Mam, I have not.
R: Why not Sir?
V: Why not?? Well, lets put it this way.... I didnt need one..
R: Well Sir, have u not taken a loan because of the high interest rates that we maintain?
V: I said I didnt take a loan because I didnt need one.
R: Sir, please give ICICI a call when u need a loan the next time.
V: Sure Mam. And thanks for informing me that u maintain a high interest rate. I will make sure I remember this when I need a loan the next time! I'll look out for someother bank.
This female seemed hell bent on giving out negative information about the company she was campaigning for that for a moment I thought someone was playing a prank on me. I redialled the number from which I received the call and it went to ICICI. So, it was no prank call after all. I wonder how much business ICICI lost because of Reena!! :D
I received this call last Friday. It was from the HP Service center where I generally give my laptop for servicing. I had given my laptop the week before and I got it back within a couple of days. Out of the blue, I get this call..
Female: Mr.Vikram, this is Shoba from HP.
Vikkki: Yes, What can I do for you.
Shoba: This is regarding your laptop Compaq Presario V 2000 with serial number #######. We need to replace the battery and I have called to get your consent.
Vikkki: Sorry to disappoint you Mam, but I dont have a Presario V2000. I have a Presario 2100 and my laptop is with me right now!
Shoba: But Sir, I have a laptop here with me which is registered to your name!
Vikkki: I can assure you, madam, that I have never owned a V2000 before.
Shoba: Sir, are u absolutely certain that you do not know anything about this laptop?
Vikkki: (laughing) Well Mam, if u are so intent on gifting a laptop to me, i wont say no. If u want to change the battery, go ahead and change it. Infact change whatever u want. I'll come and collect it this eveing (I hang up the phone)
I seriously wonder who the actual owner for that V2000 is. Poor fellow. The HP female seemed pretty certain that the laptop belonged to me.. :p
This call I received today from a female from Citibank.
Radha: Good Evening Sir. This is Radha from Citibank. I need to talk to you
about the credit card that u hold with us. Your credit balance is quite high Sir.
Vikkki: Hang on.. Hang on. Credit Balance is high? That is surprising, 'cauz i dont hold a credit card with Citibank. When did u start charging people who have got nothing to do with your bank? (This was actually a lie. I do hold a Citibank Debit card. But a credit card, I dont)
Radha: But ofcourse u do.. I have ur credit card number with me..
Vikkki: Oh Really! And what might that be?
Radha: I cannot tell that to u, Sir. I need to confirm ur identity before I do that.
Vikkki: Ok. Please confirm my identity
Radha: Could you tell me the last two transactions you made with your credit card.. Vikkki: Oh Hell! I dont have a credit card..!!!!
What can a person do in such a scenario. This female claims I have a credit card that I dont have and to top it all she wants me to give some transaction details from this non-existent credit card. How weird can a person get??
Long live ICICI. Long live HP. Long live Citibank.
:)
Vikkki |
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 
@Dumbs: I kinda' like getting these junk calls now and then.. It makes life more "interesting"